I think there is a terror
while still young, but no longer
very young, as we begin to trade in
pure, abstract fears for
real, concrete ones.

Today it was a nightmare
that aged me, by taking death
and chiseling it like a stone from a cloud.
beyond horror, it gripped my heart
and I cried all day.

Even now falling asleep
with my love after love spent
and he sleeping, his ragged breaths & pauses
claw deep in my stomach,
literal mortal dread.

I think for the first time
since I was born, I have realized
not the chic truth that there will be an end
but the fact that it could be anytime,
that it could be now.